Friday, March 11, 2011

#15: Hold a snake

Ever have one of those days where every weird occurrence possible seems to happen in one day?? .... and you forgot your camera??? That was my Saturday. On my way to work, walking past a drive through Java hunt as I usually do, first thing I see? two horses... walking through the drive-through. They each had a rider, in full cowboy get-up and everything. Now granted, a lot of our city is farm land, but that's not exactly something you commonly see out this way.

Okay, so today is now the 13th of March. I have other crap on my mind, because it's just been one of those weeks. So I'm going to chop up the previous post as quickly as possible. Here it is: Instead of going to the gym, I decided to 86 the idea (wasn't feeling well) and go to the bookstore. When I left, I see a man sitting outside with some snakes. I stand and listen as he talks to other people, and then mention I'v never held one. He passes me one, I hold it, for a good half hour at least, and I'm sold. I ask if he needs any help with them later and end up landing a few gigs with him. I just did my first one yesterday at a local elementary school's science fair. He paid me too, which I wasn't expecting. Wasn't much, but money's money. "You push too hard, Darling. But I accept!" So there's that.

This week has had at least three to four inconsecutive days that have been up, down, around the corner, and no amount of chocolate or, in my case, chocolate peanut butter, seems to be helping. These are THE WORST mood swings I have ever had during this particular time of month. (Yes, I did just announce to the entire world that I am on my period. Good thing no one reads this...:P ) On the up side, I haven't had ANY cramps, which is great... I think. Not sure that it's normal, but it's nice. However, I think I'd take the cramps over these mood swings ANY DAY! Maybe a little alcohol would help, but I don't have anything strong enough, and I don't like wine. Wine doesn't seem to like me either. We have a mutual hate hate relationship.

Forgive this incessant rambling, but on day's like this I feel that I just need to write, just to get it all out, whether it makes sense or not. OH, and in other occurences of weirdness, driving home today, saw three wild turkey's in the road... alive. wtf?
I had a very needy half hour or so on the 8th, with the guy that I'm seeing. I hate when I get like that. I get feelings of being overwhelmed for no obvious reason, being sad, lonely, even when someone's there. I HATE IT! I can't explain the feelings, because I don't understand them. I felt terrible for dumping all that on him. I still do. (Aaand the dog just stuck his nose in the cat's butt, and sneezed. Gotta love those four legged comic reliefs...) And he just text me. I was getting parinoid. I worry a lot. I wish I was more relaxed and confident, but that's not always the case. I'm working on it, and have been doing a lot better if you compare it to past years. On that note, I'm tiring and going to get off for now. I'll work on making my blogs more structured. Have a good night.'s amazing how a couple texts from him can flip my mood, in a complete 180. :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Good News, Bad News

Original title: "#23 (original list): Start learning to become a record producer/engineer", started 1/27/11

So, apparently I thought I added this to my new list, but turns out I didn't. So, we'll just pretend and call this number ...51 ..ish of new list.

I was watching Julie & Julia tonight, and listening to Julie's narrative of her own blog, I felt inspired to write. However, as I sit here, I find myself struggling to find all the words, or rather, compose all the words in a manner that would make sense to all those people OUTSIDE my head.

American Idol plays in the background, a cat licks it's butt on ither side of me, and I think too much. I think too much for my own good.

New day: 2/1/2011

The above blog piece was written on one of my, ...shall we call it... funky days? Anyway, being that it is a new day, and at least 4 days and 9 and half hours have passed between, I'm in a much healthier, livelier mood.
Now, let's play a rousing game of "Good news, Bad news," shall we??
First Bad news: I had gotten all excited and tried to sign up for my first Music Production class here at my local college. The first day was exhilarating to watch and listen to, even if it was from the very front of the room. (Including myself, there were 17 other students trying to get into the class, in which there was no extra room to sit.) So, here's the worst part: yesterday, the teacher drew a random lottery to see who of us would make it into the class. I felt like I was on one of those competition shows, and it was elimination night. He literally had us put our names on pieces of paper, borrowed a student's hat, and picked four names. As I'm sure you've guessed by now, I did not win that prize. : P
Now the good news: (in three parts, no less :D ) First: Since the class was on a Monday, and V-day is on a Monday, I'll now have more time with my S.O. (significant other, for those who didn't catch that...). Second: my Monday afternoons will be free so I'll be able to devote more time to my only other class. And third: they give this class every semester, so I'll just try again then. I was hoping to not have any school in the summer, (my FAVORITE season), but if I do, it will be my only class. Just as long as it's not on a Friday..

Bad news 2: Ex is still calling and texting. I don't respond to a single one, and have simply deleted every email I'v received since August. You'd think after half a YEAR, a person would get the hit. Not this guy. Apparently he has the super power of "OBLIVION" ! Da dada da DA!
The good news: two parts: One: he informed me he's moving out of state, (Thank You, Goddess) and two: his text last night said "Goodbye..." which I'm really hoping means this is his last message to me.

So, in conclusion: despite that little step backwards from my career direction, I'm feeling really good. (And the twelve plus hours of sleep I got after arriving home yesterday, certainly didn't hurt ither.) I spent a wonderful evening and following morning with my S.O. and we have plans for lunch on V-day. He's super excited about being able to record pieces of an album with this band, after taking, what sounds like, an unplanned hyades. (really don't think I spelled that right...) I really love seeing how excited he gets about all of this. It's really great to see someone with that much passion and dedication.
Oooo OOOO! I almost forgot: I take my written for my driver's license on the 15th! Giggitty! And this has taken me how LONG!? There are tons of people offering to help teach me to drive, as well. I'm happy, I feel Grateful and Blessed, and am now feeling a bit sleepy again. I'm going to go knock that feeling out before I have to get ready for work. (One quit + one got fired = more hours for me = more money :D ) For those who might actually read this, I'll keep you updated on more good news. (In cheesy game show voice): Thank you for joining us on THIS WEEKS "Good News, Bad News" !

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The List ... 2010

Being that I've achieved some of the items on my now old list, and that other items are no longer necessary for one reason or another, I've created a new list. It's roughly the same length, with a lot of the same content, but there have been a few noticeable changes. Now, the 2010 List:

1. Get a license
2. Visit family in Germany
3. Got to India
4. Go to Salem, MA for Halloween/Samhain
5. Meet and shake hands with Barry Gordy and/or Quincy Jones, Smokey Robinson
6. Road trip across the United States
7. Dance naked under a full moon (Full moon this Winter Solstice... )
8. Go to Europe (specifically London, Wales, Amsterdam, Rome, Milan, Greece (Delphi), and France)
9. Go to an exotic dance club in Europe and dance
10. Visit at least 2 or 3 cities in every state in the US, plus 4 or 5 in every country in Europe.
11. Join the mile high club
12. Learn to play piano and guitar
13. Learn to surf
14. Snowboard
15. Hold a snake
16. Skinny dip in a natural body of water
17. Have a meaningful kiss on New Year's
18. Play one round of slots at a casino
19. Have a water balloon fight in winter
20. Go to Disneyland again, and go on every ride! (again, plus two.) (Do Disneyland and California Adventure)
21. Go to Niagara Falls
22. Play strip poker
23. Scuba dive
24. Stay in the Caribbean for at least two weeks
25. Make snow angels
26. Learn to skate board
27. Go to the annual hippie fest
28. Find a career of meaning for myself
29. Participate in a protest
30. Hang glide
31. Ride in a hot air balloon
32. Dance in the rain
33. Water ski
34. Learn to sing better
35. Conquer my fear of performing
36. Swim under a real waterfall
37. Learn to striptease ;D (for my own personal enjoyment...)
38. Attend Burning Man
39. Fairieworlds - Summer
Document everything in photographs and video, be sure to be IN the photographs and video,
and 40. Write a book of all my adventures (in progress... :) )

Of the original list, the completed:
Drink a real margarita = I have done this a number of times, so much so, that I can't remember exactly when my first time was. :P
Get kissed in the rain = I believe this happened earlier this year while out of state, but I'm not completely positive on that. And that being said, I am completely open to it happening again. :D lol
Meet someone famous = I am up to 2 1/2! I have actually spoke, shook hands, and gotten pictures with Brain Froud (artist and creative consultant on Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal. Ran into him at an art exhibit on July 18th) and T.A. Barron, author of my favorite books, The Lost Years Of Merlin Epic Series. Met him at a book signing at our local bookstore around October 15th. The 1/2 was my swing n' miss moment with Zac Hanson back on November 12th, 2008, mentioned in a previous blog. If I ever get a chance to meet him again, and grow the balls to say anything, I can change that half to a whole.
Get my nose pierced = November 6th, 2009 around 12:30pm w/ one of my dearest friends.
At least start learning how to become a record producer/engineer = Am (hopefully) to be enrolled in my first class by January 14th, 2011. It's a little up in the air right now. The class was marked as 'closed', so I have to see if they can add me.
Jump off a cliff into a lake = I've decided against this, once figuring out I can't swim very well in dense bodies of water. Swimming pools, good, rivers ok, lakes...bad! : P

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Heelllloooo ooout theeree!!

I am horrible at staying in touch with people, family included, and I will be the first to admit this. In an attempt to remedy this, the following blog will be copied (with some this) and mailed to the appropriate destinations. By the way, I'm also trying to over ride irritation and mild anger as I write this, so I apologize if this post seems a bit scattered at times.

*Small update: It is now the next day, and the last line above is no longer applicable.

" What a long, strange trip it's been." I don't think Jerry could have said it any better. Those words have never rung so true for me, as they do now. As busy as I've been, I am aware that the Solstice isn't even here yet, let alone the end of the year, but I felt it necessary to get this out in writing. (That, and I haven't written in this thing since... July.. I think.)

This year has been my year of years, in the best ways possible. (And I'm hoping, will continue to be.) I've done everything from conversing with hippies (some of my favorite people) and fourteen-toed huskies named Zorro, to cage dancing and getting splattered with "alien" and "human" blood while moshing pitting at an Opera house theater in SF, during a full moon. ("If I'm lyin', I'm cryin'!" )

I've gotten out of a terrible relationship, had some weird ones, and am now in the middle of a wonderful one. :D (Thank You, Goddess.)

I have experienced, and continue to experience, more in this year than I have in my entire life, good and bad. (One moment in particular, I am far less than proud of.... I won't go into details here, so suffice it to say, lesson learned: Pace yourself!) I have met some of my favorite people (Brian Froud, T.A Barron), made new friends, and created new relationships (good ones) with old friends.

I am currently in the midst of getting everything together that I need for school, where I will be taking my first class in a program of record production and engineering. #23 on original list.

I may not have a car, or a license, or even my own apartment yet, but there are at least two things I've discovered: 1. Everything on The List, yet to be achieved, updated list included, is ten times easier to achieve, and 2. "I'd rather die on my feet, than live on knees." But all in all.. I'd rather live. And I rather enjoy doing so...

"To live, would be a mighty great adventure..."

-Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie

Monday, August 16, 2010

" I'm past anger and denial, and into cashmere! "

Roller coasters can be fun, when they're the rides at the fair. The adrenaline rush you feel going around high, sharp corners, the anticipation of a deep drop followed by a swift up lift. The wind blows through your hair and you have a brief experience of flying. But when it's the roller coaster of life, and you seem to frequently find your self on the one track that seems to fall forever, it makes me want my money back and complain to my park attendant.
Earlier this evening, I was very politely, sweetly rejected by a man I had found myself a little more than interested in. We had talked, had nice conversations, hung out twice, spoke briefly afterwards, and then today happened. All of this over the course of about a month. Now, although it only happened a few hours ago, I think I've bounced back fairly well. Perhaps it was the tactfulness, and thoughtfulness that went into the letter that softened the blow, or perhaps it's all these years that have made me just that resilient. "I'm past anger and denial and into cashmere." Replace the "cashmere" with four movie rentals and a sweet tooth from hell...
Taking the events of today into consideration along with the rest of life's current events, I have about 90% decided on something. My best friend, whom I was suppose to move in with, has found a place and is moving 50 + miles away sometime in September, I have no boyfriend, I hardly talk to one friend of mine, whom I would still love to hear from,(sent him a text on his birthday, and sent a card to his mom's house, but haven't heard anything) but I'm not nearly as attached to him as I previously felt, and I have a good chunk of money put away. Long story short (too late, I know): I have no big attachments. I'm a single, almost 25 year old, female, with a good amount of money and nothing really tying me to this town. My birthday will be at the end of this month, and that means I have five years left to complete The List. (see blog #2 for THE List)
For years, I have felt a pull to a one Salem, Massachusetts. I am an absolute freak for Halloween, and this is a big part of this pull, but there is something else. Something unexplainable that calls and says, "come home," despite the fact I have never been there. So I have made this decision: move to Salem, as I have wanted to for the past 3 + years. My plan: Save up all paychecks, spending no money until my birthday ( I have plans. lol), live in Salem from Halloween to Halloween, live in India for two months, come back for about three, go to Europe for one, back for two, then back here. It will be my own version of Eat, Pray, Love. (Except that I had this idea long before I had even heard of the book, which I still haven't read, but loved the movie.) It will be the begining of a big step off this hamster wheel.

"When you can't find the light
That guides you through a cloudy day
When the stars ain't shining bright
And it feels like you've lost your way
When those candle light of home
Burn so very far away
Well you got to let your soul shine
Just like my daddy used to say

He used to say the soulshine
It's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain
Hey now people don't mind
We all get this way sometimes
Got to let your soul shine
Shine 'til the break of day"
-Soulshine, The Allman Brothers
Written by Warren Haynes

Monday, June 28, 2010

Photo blog


Captin Nar nar. aka: Radar.

Meet Max, a ball python. Cuddliest snake you'll ever meet.

Made cupcakes... summer bordem.

Discovering I was becoming a little picture happy in my last post, I thought it more appropriate to just create a blog of their own. Then again, I could probably just create a flicker account and call it done. lol.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Summer came like cinnamon, soo sweet...

So far, this summer's been amazing. I've been to Harmony Fest, one day, the last day, pirate fest, and just got back from the last day of our local fair. I've been to an art festival, BBQ and farmer's markets a plenty. (Not to mention frequent late night Denny's stops.) I'v gotten a henna tattoo, amazing pictures (new camera = love... figured it was easier than trying to learn photography in two days..) met awesome people and had amazing times.

Tonight I received a reading, palm/psychic reading from a woman whom I'v always wanted to see, as I pass by her shop every walk to work. I was hesitant at first but decided wtf. I stepped into the tent and behind a white sheer curtain. (the whole experience wasn't as hocus pocus as movies like The Craft and ..well..Hocus Pocus often make it out to be.) Before the reading began, the reader (a woman, super nice and very unintimidating) told me of a couple that had gone to see her after already having seen a very famous, well known psychic. They considered themselves "jipped", as they had paid this psychic $500.00 to have her tell them exactly what this woman told them for only $10 bucks. lol...awesome. When starting the reading, she asked me to come up with three wishes. One to tell her, two to keep to myself. The first one was easy, the other two were not so. I had the hardest time coming up with a third thing to wish for. I chose the first wish to be the one told. She then had me hold out my right palm, face up. She began telling me so many things at once. One being, the most shocking to me, that I had miscarried. ... my first reaction was quite litterly "like hell. I have never been pregnant." She told me the pregnancy had been so new and I was so small and young that I wouldn't have known, wouldn't have felt it. When I thought about the only person it could have possibly been with, my heart sank slightly. But I have to say, I'm much better with it now than I would have been had I known earlier. I loved that man. I still do, to a degree. We'll always be good friends, and apparently have always been. "You've already lived your life with him in past lives. It's time to move on.." se la vi. But like my mom said, "too bad you weren't around to enjoy it." lol Iknowright?! In other relationship news, she informed me that if I got back together with my ex that it would be harder to get of this time. She told me that he's never going to change (I nod knowingly) no matter how much I try or hope. "He doesn't feel that he's doing anything wrong. He feels that you're the bad guy." After nodding again, and laughing, I answered with, "you should see some of the emails he's sent me." "That you haven't done enough to help the relationship. But I can tell by looking, how much you have sacrificed and beaten yourself up trying to make this relationship work." "You're as sweet as they come. You don't deserve this." She mentioned that I had gone back to him a few times. I agreed. She said it was great in the begining, I said it was eh. lol. She mentioned that it would not be good to try and live with him. I found that last part particularly odd being that he had just asked me, litterly last night, if I would move in with him. I mentioned this to her, after she had said it was bad idea, and she told me, "I'm not going to tell you what to do. It's your life. You'll do what you want. But it would stupid." lol Her and everyone else I mentioned it too agreed. " see things in him we don't..." but it won't work. I pretty much knew that already. She told me to put my love life on the back burner for now and focus on enjoying the rest of my year. That I will find love and I will find my "soul mate." "Everyone asks me when!Where, what time. It's not about that. You will find him when your ready." I didn't ask her when, I wasn't going to, but I guess she thought it was best to cut me off at the pass anyway. lol. She also mentioned there were issues I needed to work out with myself to make room for the future. (I don't remember her exact words on this) I asked her what if one of those issues involves the second party that won't talk to me. She said "then put yourself out there as much as possible and move on. As long as you let it go.." (I don't remember what she said after that.) She said, "don't give up on kids. Because I see three." Oddly, I found myself smiling at this. And not only smiling, but smiling rather large, despite how often I have said to many including myself that I don't want children and am not having them. She told me they will be "beautiful, gorgeous" "In what way? Phyically, spiritually?" "Everything. They will be so gorgeous you'll just want to eat them up. And you'll raise them the way they are meant to be raised. You won't spoil them with lavesh things. They will learn to appreciate..that little piece of paper." She said that my health was very good despite the issues I mentioned I had. (Upon entering the tent, I had a random bout of light headedness and told her of my epilepsy... and no there was no incense or scent of any kind floating around)She said I need to focus on living my life my way. "I just have figure out what way 'my way' is." She metioned that I would have a very long and full filling life, and ended on the note that I would move out when I was ready. I told her, I've been "ready" for several years. Right now it's just a money thing. "It'll happen." I know some people don't believe in this stuff, but I'v had readings before and more often than not have they come true. For me? Best 10 bucks I ever spent. lol.

The rest of the fair was nice, but short lived. I was with my best friend, her young niece and her cousin, whose kinda cute and I'm kinda crushin'. (We had all been working the fair directing traffic all night, and they were super tired. I had only been there since about 5:45pm, but they had been there since at least 12pm, some 6am. Including the youngen. )BFF tried to get her cuz to hold my hand when informing him that she held her niece's so she wouldn't lose her and followed her comment with a not so subtle "HINT HINT WINK WINK NUDGE NUUDGE!" He just laughed and said, "I don't hold hands." His hands firmly placed in each pant pocket. It just made me laugh.

Now, with all this rambling commenced, I leave you with the evidence of the magic that has so far summer: ( I don't know how this all works, so the pics show up at the top instead of here. But hope their enjoyed regarless. : ) ...maybe somebody could help me figure this out. :P