In an attempt to keep a promise, resolution of sorts, to myself, I have decided to force myself to sit down and write a new blog. A lot of things have happened since my last post, and thought it was time I updated.
Let's start with the explosion of about 4 nights ago (warning: I am mostly venting here and will therefore, undoubtably be cursing like a sailor. If you find yourself offended,...can't say you weren't warned.)
On Feb. 23rd, I sat down at the computer to write a letter of birthday wishes to a friend of mine. I get as far as "Hey :)" when my mother's husband, walks in and begins to tell me about how he "came across" (went through my files) a paper I wrote for a Child Development class last semeseter. The paper was about how the people in my household and family deal with our family stresses and our individual stresses. He proceed to attack me saying bullshit like "you should be ashamed of yourself." and "you're so fucking lazy!" My chin is on the floor by this time, and I haven't had a chance to say anything. When I'm finally able to speak, I attempt to explain to him that no one saw the paper except for me and the teacher and that everything was confidental. He gives this look and response of "yeah right!". He then starts throwing unrealted pieces of information in my face and referes to a friend of mine as my "imaginary boyfriend." < offical point of when I went off on him. I told him if he ever spoke that way about that person ever again I would punch him in the face. "He is a FRIEND of mine! And yes, I care deeper for him than he does for me, but am not an idoit!" My defense, which he did not allow himself to hear (he refuses to hear anything to contrary of him being correct):
Lazy?? You do not get A's in both classes from being "fucking lazy" and you do not get a paycheck every two weeks for being "fucking lazy" or having a fake job...(he has told me numerous times to get a "real job". I have a part time job and have talked to them at least 3 times about more hours. They can't help me in that department. Another thing he thinks I'm pulling out of my ass. I am so fucking tired of his petty, 10 year old bullshit. (And calling him 10, is being generous.) The look of shear contentment, spite, and absolute saticfaction on his face just last night when he knew he was interupting me from completing my homework, was enough to make me choke a bitch. i.e.: HIM!
I know I'm not lazy, or ungrateful and I am certainly not ashamed of anything I said in that paper. It was all fact. If he dosen't like that fact he was described per batem, than he needs to change it. It is NOT my responsiblity to lie about it. (he actually told me I should have made something up.) I admit that I'm no angel, but I'm also no where near as bad as he seems to enjoy thinking. I am beyond exhausted having to constantly defend myself. I shouldn't have to. But on the up side, Mom's finally starting to see this too. And to close: He can fucking burn in hell.